Judgement

 I have recently acquired a set of Tarot cards (thanks to the mother in law) and this morning I thought I would just pull out a card that spoke to me, and see what it said.

The card I pulled was Judgement (upright position).

This is the meaning as per the booklet/internet sources etc:

The traditional Judgement meaning focuses on the moment when we reflect and evaluate ourselves and our actions. It is through self-reflection that we can have a clearer and objective understanding about where we are now, and what we need to do in order to grow as humans. The Judgement card appearing in a reading signifies that you are coming close to this significant point in your life where you must start to evaluate yourself. 

To see this card can also indicate that you are in a period of awakening, brought on by the act of self-reflection. You now have a clearer idea of what you need to change and how you need to be true yourself and your needs. This can mean making small changes to your daily life or making huge changes that not only affect you but the people close to you.

The Judgement card reminds us that we all will be faced with choices that will have an astounding effect for your entire life. The card brings to mind moments where actions you have taken have changed the course of your path for good. There may have been a moment where there is no looking back. The consequences of those actions eventually will catch up to you, and this card seems to indicate that this is the time. You may have to let go of the past, so you can move forward with your plans to have a new life.

Now this is interesting to me with everything I have gone through to work out my past trauma and move on from it, finally making better choices to free myself from who I have had to be all these years. I feel it particularly motivating as I have felt like I am ready to move on and work towards my new life.

Typically, I get very angry or frustrated with things, or if I am expected to do things, and be around people for an extended period of time. This weekend we helped the in laws move house and I was expected to keep on top of my own home tasks, as well as wanting to help them. Now I certainly slacked a little (I was tired) but no anger, no guilt, no arguments. We just did what we could in the time we had spare.

Typically, something happening, or something my husband does will irritate me, cause an argument, cause some resentment for one reason or another, but nothing like that happened this weekend. I was cool, I was collected, I was calm. Sure we had some disagreements on stuff, but in a way I think is actually normal. And another thing I noticed, was it didn't eat away at me. I didn't go off in a huff and keep to myself in a grump all evening. We disagreed. We said our bit. We moved on.

Each day I feel like some thing is easier than it was before. It is easier to do without getting myself into a state, and causing an argument and making the day a little worse. I can get over the little things a little bit easier now. I don't dwell on silly things, and I just get on with it. 

I want to be a good mother. I want to be a good wife. I want to be a good partner and friend. I want to be happy. I am making that choice.