Nice things

Today I figured I'd write about something nice. Some little joys I experienced today. 

Firstly, I love autumn. I love the leaves crunching beneath my feet. I love the fresh smell of the frost in the air when I leave the house each morning, eventually mixing with the smell of fires being lit in back gardens and fireplaces. 

I love watching the leaves gently fall to the ground in the soft breeze, swirling around in the bursts of wind in spirals. 

I enjoy wearing my big coat even if it is still a little unseasonably warm and I often come to regret it later in the day but I wear it nonetheless because it is autumn and I love it. It's wearing my big coat and regretting it season. 

I love the pumpkins and spooky things in all the shop windows and the Pumpkin spice lattes and all other things spiced whether it be biscuits or wine!

I walked through the cemetery during my lunch time walk today and I have always enjoyed looking at the gravestones. 

I enjoy reading the stones and getting a glimpse of who they were. Loving mother. Beloved father. Treasured son. Darling daughter. 

Of course it's sad to see someone who passed away so young, who hadn't been given the chance at a full life. How their family would have mourned and cried at the very spot I was now standing in as their loved one was lowered slowly into the ground. Saying their final goodbyes. 

The grave their final resting place, the stone the best the family could do to honour their memory and immortalise them. 

There are some beautiful gravestones in cemeteries and I often feel quite comfortable in cemeteries. Because even with all the suffering that occurred, these people were now at peace, and no longer in pain. 

This is my monster tube. My daughter and I made it. I am very proud of it and she loves it. 

I have often been too particular, too worried about mess and things not being perfect to do crafts with her. But I tried my best and while I certainly controlled this outcome a little tiny but, I let her paint its body all the colours until it turned almost brown. 

We also had a huge roll of paper to paint on. Purples, blues, yellows all merged into one big brown splodge and she was covered in paint on her hands and arms and face. She was so happy to be painting with me. 

I felt bad for all the times I couldn't handle it. I felt bad as I still felt I wasn't handling it as well as I should be. As well as a normal person would. A bit of mess is fun, it's normal. And I tried to believe in that. Just for a while. 

The smile on her face and the joy afterwards was worth a bit of mess. 

I felt good today. I have been calm and relaxed and I know it has affected my daughter and husband positively. 

I know I will have more good days and that soon they will outweigh the bad ones.